


Seeing You Again

by Alonelynight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fluff, I'll tag as I go, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alonelynight/pseuds/Alonelynight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite everything, soulmates will find each other... This is a very short reincarnation story. Eren and Levi remember their past life, but both had lost hope in finding one another when their consequences caught up to them. "When things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 - Eren

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first SnK fic and my first fic here :) hope you like it!

Chapter 1 – Eren

  
As I stare outside through the window, all I could see were the same picture of buildings and bustling streets. The view had amazed me the first time I saw it through this small window but as the years passed by, they just looked bland.

  
The only thing that kept me anticipating for another tomorrow was the sky, the ever changing sky.

  
And the hope that someday, I would meet him again. _My corporal._

  
“Good morning Eren.” Petra, the nurse, cheerfully entered the room. She walked towards my bed and placed a cup filled with tablets and capsules of different colors on the table beside it. “Here’s your morning medicine. Be a good boy and drink them all!”

  
I smiled at her and took a glimpse outside the window. Petra immediately became the nurse assigned to me after she graduated from the nursing school. Until now, she was the only constant companion I have aside from the needles and the IV.

  
“What are you looking at?” Petra asked while pouring some water on a mug. “I would always see you staring blankly through that window.” She gave me the mug filled with water and the pills.

  
“Nothing.” I placed the pills on my mouth and drank the water, pushing the pills down my throat. “Just looking at the life I could never have.” I gave her the cup back.

  
“Oh Eren.” Petra placed her hands above mine, a frown lacing her lips. “You know you could. Just a few more months and surely you’re going to be fine. Look, the doctor will give the results of your test tomorrow and I’m sure that she will give you good news.”

  
_False assurance_ that is what this was.

  
I tried not to waste Petra’s effort of consoling me, she’s only doing what she thinks is the best. “Hopefully it will.” I smiled softly at her and retracted my hands from hers.

  
“Of course! I’m sure you’ll be discharged in no time.” Petra announced as she left for the door. As soon as she was gone, I began staring outside once again.

  
Discharged? They have been telling me that since the first time I came here.

  
I already have a weak heart since I was a child. I was not allowed to mingle with others around my age except for our neighbors, Mikasa and Armin. We used to hang out together inside our house and read books. Sometimes, they would tell me their experiences in school. At first I was happy to be able to have friends.

But soon, I just became jealous.

  
I got jealous of the fact that they have a normal life, unlike me who was never allowed to go outside. I tried to lessen our time together and withdrawn myself to the solace of isolation.

  
That’s when I had the dreams.

  
I kept dreaming about killing gigantic human-looking creatures. They became recurring until I found out that they are called Titans.

  
And I was one of them.

  
Probably around the time I had those dreams, my attacks worsen. My once lonesome life became more unbearable to live. They said I only have to stay in the hospital for days.

  
But those days became months, then years.

  
My stay in the hospital made my dreams more frequent. I saw Mikasa and Armin fighting with me against the Titans. I saw Nurse Petra dying because of a female Titan. I dreamt of Bert, the patient next door, transforming into a colossal titan.

  
I thought they were just mere dreams and a figment of my childish imagination. But I was wrong.

  
I saw someone I don’t know. I kept calling him Corporal. Every time I dreamt of him, the Corporal, unknown warmth spreads inside my chest. I can’t breathe, because the mere fact that he’s beside me fills me with joy.

  
Until I dreamt of a scene where I killed him. I killed Corporal.

  
The man I love.

  
I remembered I had an attack that night. My lungs were closing in and I can’t breathe. My heart felt like it is being squeezed to death by a fist while guilt, sadness, and anger add to its weight. The nurses and doctors found me wheezing and thumping my chest as the picture of Corporal dying in my hands burn through my mind.

  
I thought I was going to die. And I was fine with it.

  
It would be retribution. I killed the only person who loved me despite the monster I was. I thought it would be better if I died with the memory and guilt engraved in my mind. I thought that would be my punishment.

  
My next dream proved me wrong. Corporal left a letter, a letter for me. He told me that he’s prepared for everything that may come in the way. He said that he’s prepared to die as long as he’ll be able to give me a peaceful place, without the titans, to live.

  
That he’s prepared to die even in my hands.

  
That he loves me with all that he is.

  
That if ever we see each other again in the next life, he will not hesitate to be with me.

  
Those dreams, no, those memories made me treasure this life more, because in our past life, I didn’t.

  
I thought that everything would be fine after my past self read Corporal’s letter. He seemed to live his life normally after that. Despite seemingly mundane, deep inside, he was slowly crumbling, both my past self’s heart and mind was deteriorating.

  
After a year of a titan free world, and Corporal’s death, the sad news of the death of Humanity’s hope broke out. My past self killed himself.

  
The acceptance of killing the man he loves was only temporary. The fact slowly sinks into him as time goes by, the fact that his Corporal will never come back.

  
And it’s all because of him.

  
“Miss Petra?” I asked as she placed my dinner on the table bed. She hummed questioningly. “What would you do if you only have a day to live?”

  
The question seemed to startle her since the fork fell on the floor. She scrambled to pick it up and replace it with another one, all the while laughing uneasily. “Well,” She placed the utensils on the table bed. “I’ll probably go to my love ones and tell them how much I love them.” Petra sat on the chair beside the bed and watched me eat. “How about you Eren?”

  
I took a spoonful of the seemingly tasteless soup and stared at the pale cream color. “I would go to the one place I’ve been dreaming to go to.” I took a sip from the soup and evidently, it lacks taste.

  
“Where’s that?” Petra placed her arms at the bed and stared at me with interest gleaming in her eyes.

  
“The ocean.” I turned my gaze towards the window and stared at the blue sky. “I always dreamt of going there and seeing the vast blue of the waters and feeling the sand between my toes.” I relayed, a smile decorating my whole face. “I told Corporal about it and he said that he would take me there sometime. I was really happy tha–“

  
“Who’s Corporal?” Petra interrupted, her voice laced with confusion. “Is he a friend back home?”

  
My mouth formed a thin line, I spoke too much. I don’t want to turn around and look at Petra and see her face filled with obliviousness about the past. I don’t want to see how she looks while asking about who Corporal is.

  
But I know it would be better for her that way.

  
I slowly turned my head towards her and offered a small smile. “Yes he is. Corporal is quite the shy type and he would just glare at you when he’s embarrassed.” I know that living the present should be about anticipating the future and living the moment, not about dwelling the past and burying yourself around ‘what ifs’. I should be happy that Petra does not have her past memories, at least right now, she could live her life without the burden of the past.

  
“He sounds cute.” Petra chuckled, her face glowing. “Where is he now?”

  
“I don’t know.” I looked down. “He’s probably cleaning his house or checking new brands of detergent.”

  
Petra looked confused but after a moment, laughter replaced her confusion. “But, what kind of parents would name their son Corporal? Is that really his name?”

  
I smiled at her laughing face. She looked really beautiful when she laughs. Oluo, Petra’s fiancé, is really lucky to have her. “Levi,” I started, Petra stopped laughing and looked at me. “His name is Levi.”

  
“Really? His name sounds amazing.”

  
“Levi is amazing.”

  
That night, I had a hard time sleeping.

  
I’ve heard a lot of bad news in my life, but I can’t help but feel agitated about the result of the tests. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. It will do me no good to expect and just be let down.

  
This time, I resolved myself. Whatever the result may be, may it be good or bad, I will go to the ocean. I don’t want to waste another moment living a life like this.

  
Let me have my wings back.

  
I fell asleep with the thoughts of going to the ocean with Corporal. I dreamt of walking along the shore with Corporal while holding his hands. The occasional waves hitting our bare feet and I’ll shiver at the coldness of the water. Corporal would notice my shiver and he would pull me closer to him, sharing the warmth between us. After walking, we would go back to our house near the ocean and cuddle together on the sofa.

  
We will be on our own little world.

  
“Eren! Good morning.” Dr. Hange chirped and ran towards me, engulfing me in a hug. Dr. Hange would always seem to bring sunshine to the hospital with her quirky attitude. She’s always over energetic and people can’t help but be infected by her laughter. “How’s my favorite patient?”

  
“I slept well.” I laughed when Dr. Hange pouted because Petra pulled her away from me. “I’m feeling good right now.”

  
“Then that’s great Eren.” Petra chirped. “I thought you’re going to die of suffocation because of Dr. Hange.” 

  
“Hey! My hug is very warm.”

  
“No one likes your hug except Moblit.” Petra retorted.

  
“Oh my god, please stop!” Dr. Hange widened her eyes. “My friend is having an existential crisis right now and if you continue to decrease my confidence, I might have one as well!”

  
“Stop Hange.” Petra rolled her eyes. “Eren is waiting you know.”

  
“Oh yes!” Dr. Hange looked apologetically at me. “I’m sorry I got carried away.”

  
“It’s alright.” I reassured her. “Umm, about the result?”

  
Dr. Hange stilled. Her once cheerful demeanor became serious. “Can you step out for a while Petra?”

  
“Sure.” Petra smiled at me and mouthed ‘Good luck’ before she left.

  
I could feel my hands sweat at the anticipation, whether I can finally leave this place or not. I closed my hands in a tight fist when I heard Dr. Hange said my name.

  
“Last time, I told you that you have a 50/50 chance if you undergo a surgery. You and your parents declined since the percentage is low. Eren,” Dr. Hange paused, her face contorting into miserable expression. “Right now would be the last chance if you want to undergo in a surgery.”

  
I could feel my nails dug harshly on my palm as Dr. Hange said those words. I bit my lip, trying to repress my feelings. “What’s my chance now?”

  
“60/40” Dr. Hange closed her eyes. “40% you’ll live, 60% you won’t.”

  
The instant the words left her mouth, my dream last night suddenly flashed before my eyes. The warmth and love that that dream filled me suddenly turned into an icy dread.

  
I guess this lifetime is not the one.

  
“What will be your choice Eren? Do you want to or not? You can decide for yourself now since you’re already eighteen.”

  
_Why? I don’t have a reason to put my life at stake._

  
“You know that if you don’t undergo this surgery, you’ll only have a few years left.”

  
_That’s fine for me. I don’t have him right now. What would be the point of living a long life?_

  
“Dr. Hange,” I turned my gaze outside, towards the vast gray sky. It looks like the sky would do the crying for me.

  
“Can I go to the ocean?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's POV on the same day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! Hope you like it :)  
> Many thanks to abrightrightnow for being my beta! She's amazing and I learned a lot from her. :D

Chapter 2 – Levi

 

“Levi,” Erwin announced while entering my office. “What is this about?” He dropped a paper on my table, the one I just sent to him.

 

“I’m sure you can read Captain America.” I said, rolling my eyes at his obvious question. “I’m stepping down as the CEO.”

 

“I know that,” He slammed his hands on my table. Erwin’s calm demeanor has turned into an enraged one. I’ve known him for a long time and it’s not frequent that he gets angry like this. “But what I wanted to know is the reason. Why are you stepping down?”

 

“Because I think that you’re the right person to sit here, not me.”

 

The moment those words slipped out of my mouth, Erwin glared at me. “Let’s cut the bullshit Levi. We all know that that is not true.” Erwin paused. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Even if it is, I don’t have the right to.”

 

“Oh for fucks sake!” I exclaimed as I stared at him incredulously. “Stop being a goody two shoes, eyebrows. I step down, you become the CEO, and I can live peacefully by myself.” I shrugged after I ended my little speech. “Win win.”

 

But those words just seem to infuriate Erwin more. “There’s no ‘win win’ Levi!” He exclaimed, putting an edge to his words. Erwin leaned in towards me, with the table between us, and spoke, “Tell me why you are doing this.”

 

_I can’t tell him._ “I’m getting old Captain America.”

 

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m way older than you Levi.”

 

Sighing, I reclined back against my chair and folded my arms above my chest. “Honestly? I just want to fucking retire somewhere peacefully. I’m tired of this shit.”

 

“Is that why you bought that beach house?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Bullshit. This is because of your nightmares right?” Erwin narrowed his gaze at me. “Because that boy in your nightmare really wanted to go to the ocean.”

 

It’s Captain fucking America, of course he would know. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“Levi, after you told us that you’re having nightmares, you changed.”  His expression turned into a soft one, looking as if he pities me. I hated it. “Do you still dream about it?”

 

I stared at him as I steeled myself inside, trying to bury the images that took shape after Erwin said those words. “This has nothing to do with it.”

 

“I’m right. It’s because of that boy, the one with green eyes.”

 

“Erwin, stop.”

 

“For fucks sake Levi!” Erwin exploded, his eyes pleading me to listen to him. “That’s just a dream! A fucking dream!”

 

“Shut the fuck up Erwin, before I rip your mouth off.” I threatened, glaring at him. I could feel my heart constrict as the moments passed by, as Erwin speak.

 

Because I know for a fact that they are real. They are my memories.

 

“Levi,” Erwin spoke after a few moments, the edge from his voice gone as well as the spark of anger in his eyes. “Those dreams are not real. Why don’t you wake up and see that this is the reality?”

 

I stood up and looked at Erwin straight in the eyes. “What reality? This?” I clenched my fist to my side, trying my hardest not to punch anything. “This company has never been my dream! It was yours! I was just there at the right time and place. Honestly? I’m sick of all this shit!”

 

“Why? Why would you choose a mere dream rather than this reality?”

 

I broke our eye contact and turned my gaze to my hands. My nails were digging harshly on my palm as I was clenching it into a tight fist. “It has never been about choosing.” I paused, taking a few deep breaths as I do so. I opened my palms and saw the crescent shapes that formed because of my nails. I turned my gaze back to Erwin, and spoke, “This ‘reality’ of yours can never be mine. I thought that if I followed you, it would be. And it did, but in return, the more I linger in this part of your world, the more I lose myself.”

 

_And I don’t want to lose anything anymore. Especially now that I still haven’t found him._

 

When I began dreaming about that world, I thought I was going out of my mind. I can’t ask for anyone’s help. I thought, at that time, that I should distract myself to forget those dreams.

 

I thought I could forget them.

 

That was why I ended up working so hard to start this company. I drowned myself with work: talking to investors, encouraging potential clients, and expanding the company’s influence. I lost time for myself, and I thought I could finally escape from the clutches of my dreams. But I didn’t.

 

The dreams became more frequent and became more gruesome. In the end, sleep began to evade me.

 

Call me coward but there are some pictures from my dreams that would leave a gaping hole in my heart. Pictures of gigantic human-like creatures brutally killing and eating humans, those kinds of scenes were the reason I became afraid to sleep. I fear that I would wake up with a huge hole in my chest and I would die fruitlessly mending it.

 

But that silly smile and those amazing green eyes pulled me out of the void.

 

Erwin sighed and surrendered.  He sat on the chair in front of my table, opposite to me, and placed his hands on his head with his elbows on his knees. “Why are you so hung up about that green eyed boy?”

 

“That boy you say brought me back to life.” I began to walk towards Erwin, my footsteps resounding inside the room. I stopped in front of him and spoke, “I owe him my life.”

 

_I love him._

 

Erwin turned his gaze towards me, his eyes filled with understanding. He knew that I won’t be changing my mind. “Are you sure about your decision?”

 

“Yes. I’ve decided that I’ll stay behind the shadows and support you.” I tapped his shoulder and went towards the door. “Just call me if you need my help.”

 

The moment I saw those pair of green eyes, I was fucking six deep under. Those nightmares that bother me every night became something I would anticipate. Before I knew it, those green eyes haunted me every second. My mind would suddenly drift towards the certain green eyed brunette and everything would seem to vanish except for him. _Eren._

 

In the end, I found out they were not mere dreams.

 

They are memories. _My memories._

 

I didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly, everything fell into place. Those dreams were my memories from the past. The moment these realizations came to me, I began to treasure those memories more than before.

 

Because it feels like everything has finally some fucking sense.

 

And it’s all because of that brat.

 

Even when I saw myself getting killed by him, surprisingly, I didn’t feel any remorse.

 

I didn’t expect that I would conjure these kinds of thoughts, but in my head, everything would be fine as long as Eren is there. It may be very fucking cliché but, in the past and in the present, Eren gave life to my once lifeless existence.

 

Because I fell in love with him. With those honest green eyes.

 

I went straight to the beach house after I left the company which was just a two hour drive from the city. Going to that place helps me clear my mind off of useless things.

 

I bought the beach house three months ago. It was a two storey house with white and beige exterior. The huge porch became my favorite place the moment I saw it. It has wooden floors and white rails. There’s a small russet sofa and a coffee table at the side. It was the perfect place to view the gleaming ocean and I thought that if Eren was here, he would certainly love it.

 

The moment I arrive, I began dusting the place off. The house wasn’t dirty in the first place, I just wanted to clean and get lost in my own thoughts. I don’t clean just for the sake of being clean, I do so because it gives me some peace for myself.

 

With a feather duster in hand, I started thinking about Eren and everything that happened in my previous life.

 

Our relationship was kept a secret. Although it’s not forbidden, a relationship between two soldiers is not quite welcomed. It was thought of as a distraction to our duty, our duty to protect the civilians from the titans.

 

The past wasn’t easy for us, especially for Eren. He became the humanity’s hope at a young age and such burden dragged him down. All I wanted back then was to protect him and eradicate all titans so that we could live peacefully.

 

But I died before I could fulfill those wishes.

 

I wanted to know what happened after I died. Obviously, humanity won during the last war but, what happened to Eren? Was he able to live peacefully? Was he able to create his own family?

 

Was he happy?

 

“Levi!” Hange waved as she walked towards me. She was holding the leash of a huge Golden Retriever that I had grown to love. “I brought Colossal!”

 

After cleaning, I resigned myself at the small couch on the porch overlooking the ocean. I stared at the waters with a cup of tea on the table in front of me. The blue of the ocean reminds me of Eren’s eyes.

 

His iris has specks of blue in it, although it is indistinguishable at far.

 

Hange arrived at the porch, her shoes carrying a lot of dust much to my distaste. She let go of Colossal’s leash and let him run towards me. “Thank you for bringing him here.”

 

“No problem!” Hange raised her thumbs up and plopped down on the sofa beside me. “I was surprised when I got your text. I never thought you’re going to leave the company just like that.”

 

“I’m fine being just a shareholder and not having any position.” I ruffled Colossal’s fur, making him bark in delight. “Let eyebrows do all the work. That workaholic shit.”

 

Hange laughed and spoke, “Well I guess so. What’s better than earning money by sitting around?”

 

I rolled my eyes at her response. “That’s not my point but, I guess that’s true as well.”

 

Silence enveloped us after that. Hange stared at the ocean while I brush Colossal’s fur. The only sound around us was the waves hitting the shore. The sight, because of the array of colors, entranced us with its splendor, especially every time the sunlight touches the waves, the ocean seem to sparkle.

 

This is probably why Eren wanted to go to the ocean so much.

 

Because it feels like you’re in another world.

 

“Hey Levi.” Hange spoke, breaking the silence. “You’re still having those dreams right?”

 

It wasn’t a question. She probably heard it from Erwin or she knew me too well. “Yes.”

 

“You know,” Hange started, her gaze towards the ocean. “I don’t believe in reincarnation. I’m a science freak.” She chuckled lightly. “But when you told us about your dreams, slowly, I began to believe in it. I believe in you. Because I’ve never seen you so alive, so happy. No matter how much we’ve tried, you’ve never smiled at us the way you did when you spoke of your dreams.”

 

I stilled. I didn’t know what to say. I thought she wouldn’t believe me. When I started dreaming about Eren, I gained the confidence to tell them about my dreams. Erwin told me that I was probably stressing myself too much. While, Hange, she stayed quiet all the time, even after I finished my story.

 

I thought she didn’t believe me as well.

 

“You’re in it.” I spoke after a few moments.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You’re part of it. My past.”

 

“For real?” Hange beamed, a huge smile decorating her face. “Am I as awesome as I am right now?”

 

I stood up and dusted my pants off. “Nope. You’re still as annoying as ever.”

 

Hange cooed and teased, “Don’t be shy Levi! I know you love me!”

 

I rolled my eyes with the way she’s smiling goofily at my revelation. “I don’t. Now get out of my house.”

 

Hange stayed for a while after that. I told her everything about her from the past specifically about her past self’s addiction to titan experimentation. She would laugh every now and then at the similarity of her personality right now to her personality from the past particularly about her liking to science. She even approved Bean and Sawney’s name, saying that it was cute.

 

I also mentioned about her relationship with Moblit which made her squeal and laugh. She immediately called Moblit and told him that they are fated together even in the past. I could hear bits of their conversation and Moblit’s voice, which was laced with confusion.

 

Hange had to leave at around 7 pm because of an appointment with a patient early in the morning. “Just call me if you’re having another existential crisis.”

 

“Who the fuck is having an existential crisis?” I glared at her.

 

“Aren’t you?” Hange laughed. “I’ll be here for your single ass anytime.”

 

“My single ass doesn’t need your help.”

 

“I have a green eyed patient if you want.” She winked at me and continued, “He’s also quite cute.”

 

“Why the fuck are you pimping your patients to me?” I rolled my eyes at her. “Go away four eyes.”

 

Hange laughed her ass off and left, a small curve forming on my face. I have never been so glad to have a friend like her in my life, both in the past and the present.

 

I slept well that night.

 

_The sun was kissing the surface of the ocean. The only sound present was the faint chirping of the birds and the waves hitting the shore. Walking along the coast while holding the hands of the man you love feels like putting the last piece of a puzzle._

 

_It felt perfect._

 

_Eren and I are walking along the shore as the sun sets. The waves occasionally hit our feet and the water felt warm despite the chilly air. At one point, I felt Eren shiver next to me. I took the chance and pulled him beside me, removing every space between us. Eren nuzzled his cheek on top of my head and pulled me closer to him._

 

_It was fucking perfect. It felt like it came out straight from a rom-com._

 

_But since I’m with Eren, shit doesn’t matter._

 

_We went back home after the sun set. We huddled together on the sofa in the living room with a blanket over us. Eren placed his arms above the headrest and pulled my head towards him until my head was lying on his shoulder._

 

_I could feel the faint beat of his heart. I closed my eyes and let myself be engulfed by the sound of his heart beating alongside mine. It was as is our hearts were synchronized._

 

_If only this could last forever._

 

I woke up with the sound of my phone. Grudgingly, I sat up and rubbed the sleep off of my eyes. The clock above the door says it is 12 in the afternoon. I reached for my phone on the bedside table and saw Hange’s name on the screen.

 

“Why the fuck are you calling shitty glasses?” I greeted after I answered the call.

 

_“Levi.”_ Hange’s voice broke when she said my name. Her voice doesn’t hold the usual cheerfulness she had.

 

“What happened?” I asked, confusion evident in my voice. “Is there something wrong four eyes?”

 

_“Can I ask you a favor?”_

 

“What is it?”

 

_“Can I borrow your beach house for a week?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Chapter 2  
> Thank you for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! Hope you like it :D  
> Thanks to abrightrightnow for being my beta again for this chapter!!

Chapter 3 – Eren

 

I closed my eyes as I took in the warmth and the feel of the sand beneath me. All I could hear was the sound of waves, drowning me with delight as I’ve finally reached my dream.

 

_My dream to see to the ocean._

 

Dr. Hange brought me here awhile ago. She had to leave as soon as possible because she still has an appointment with another patient. Since the beach house is only a ten minute walk from the highway, I told Dr. Hange that I could go there on my own.

 

“Are you sure?” Dr. Hange asked, worry evident in her face. She removed my duffel bag from the trunk of the car and placed it on the floor beside me. “I mean I could walk you there.”

 

“It’s fine.” I reassured her as I bent down to pick my bag up. “I could use some alone time since I’m finally here.”

 

“Eren,” She placed her hand on my head and brought her gaze straight to me. “Please reconsider your decision.”

 

I gasped the moment those words left her mouth. I already have the feeling that she would ask me about it and now that she did, I’m at loss for words.

 

“I,” I paused, unable to speak. I know deep in me that I wouldn’t change my decision. I’m sure Dr. Hange knew it as well, but my heart can’t bear to watch the crestfallen look on Dr. Hange’s face if I told her that I’ve made up my mind. “I would.”

 

_I can’t._

 

Seeing that the ocean brought comfort to me, I’ve decided to stay for a while and bask under it. The moment I saw it, I knew that those pictures on the books that I’ve read wouldn’t do justice to this scene right before my eyes. The ocean has this striking deep blue and it glitters under the blinding sunlight. It’s so vast that it seemed endless from where I stood. It also has this smell that will make you feel lightheaded and at ease.

 

I didn’t know that the ocean would be this breathtaking.

 

Now I do.

 

What amazed me the instant I step foot on the shore was the infinite span of the waters. There are no walls everywhere I turned my gaze to. There’s just this never-ending blue of the ocean and I can’t help but think that finally, I’m free.

 

“Levi, my love,” I could feel my tears falling down my cheek. I took a step closer to the water, removing my shoes as I do so. I could feel the soft sand under my feet as well as the heat coming from the ground. “I’m finally here.”

 

My eyes became blurry as my tears continue to flow. I could feel myself drown in bliss as moments pass by. The ocean is slowly taking over my senses, making myself numb as the sound of the waves, the warmth of the sunlight, and the smell of the ocean register in my mind.

 

I closed my eyes once more and imagined Levi beside me. What would be his expression? How would he react if he saw me crying over this? Would he be as amazed as I am right now?

 

All these questions are running inside my head. _If only he’s here, beside me._

 

“Were you able to see the ocean in this lifetime?”

 

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard a loud bark beside me. When I turned to look at where it came from, I was surprised by a huge dog with beautiful brown fur. The dog was sitting beside me and oddly enough, it was actually staring at me.

 

“Hey doggie.” I bent down to ruffle its head, reveling at how soft its fur is. The dog nuzzled into my hand. “You have such a beautiful fur.” I wondered. “I bet your owner takes good care of you.”

 

As if the dog understood me, he barked in reply after I spoke. I laughed at how adorable the dog is acting, snuggling towards me and wagging its tail in delight, despite its huge size.

 

“Are you here on your own? Where’s your owner?” I asked. I just noticed how beautiful this dog’s eyes were. Its eyes are color blue with specks of green and brown in it.

 

Again, the dog, who seemingly understood my question, barked. It wagged its tail before it ran away from me.

 

“Hey!” I shouted and immediately picked my bag up from the ground to follow the dog. I actually don’t know what possessed me to follow the dog but there’s something familiar about its eyes that I can’t help but be drawn to it.

 

Soon after I followed the dog, running slowly as I am not physically inclined, I began to pant like I’ve ran in a marathon but in reality, I only ran for about 5 minutes. I could feel my chest constrict and my side ache as I continue to run. My legs slowly began to give out from exhaustion and my clothes drenched from sweat. This is what I get from lounging on my hospital bed all day.

 

“He-hey!” I choked from panting too hard. I stopped running and placed my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I don’t think I’m really going to have an attack right now but with the way I’m wheezing so hard, I probably look like I’m having one.

 

“Colossal!” A deep baritone voice shouted from afar. I honestly wouldn’t bother looking for the person who just yelled, but the familiarity of the voice hit me hard. I immediately stood straight from my position and turned my gaze towards where the voice came from.

 

I saw the dog I was just running after sat in front of a crouching man. The man was ruffling the dog’s head while the dog snuggled towards him. The sight utterly left me speechless and it is as if my mind turned blank.

 

I couldn’t believe I’m actually seeing him right now.

 

 “Where were you?” The man chuckled when the dog jumped towards him, making him fall towards the ground. “You filthy dog.” His words were not meant to bite but he spoke it with such gentleness.

 

After all those years I’ve spent holed up inside the small hospital room, I’ve actually lost hope in seeing him in this lifetime. _Levi._

 

His face hasn’t change that much from what I remember before, from our past life. Although right now, he looks more off guard and relaxed. He’s wearing a white dress shirt and a dark washed jeans. His bangs are still parted quite in the middle and he still has the same undercut.

 

Honestly, it felt like I’ve been longing for this moment to happen. I thought that when I see him again, I would jump towards his arms with a huge smile on my face. I thought that my heart will be filled with warmth and gladness as I have seen my soul mate once more.

 

But right now, my heart feels heavy with dread and regret.

 

“Le-vi.” My voice broke when I said his name. It sounded more like a gasp than an actual word.

 

Although I spoke with a soft voice, he seemed to have heard it. Levi immediately turned his gaze towards me. His eyes felt like it spoke a thousand words the moment it met mine. Then and there, I felt my heart break.

 

I resigned myself to my fate, my fate that I would die early. I decided that I wouldn’t undergo surgery and just live the rest of my years as it is. I accepted everything this lifetime gave me, even if it pierced my heart to death. But why now? Why did the goddess of fate brought Levi in front of me when in reality, I wouldn’t live that long?

 

Why am I being punished like this?

 

_Or maybe this could be a second chance._

 

“Eren?” Levi spoke incredulously, as if he does not believe what’s happening in front of him. “Is that really you?”

 

“I,” I took a step back, not really knowing what to do. Should I approach him? Should I talk to him?

 

Is it really alright?

 

From our distance, I could see the glimmer of tears from his steel grey eyes. The sight made me hope, hope that everything would be alright as long as I’m with him.

 

Even if I’m not sure that I would live long.

 

“Eren.” Levi spoke with a gentle tone. A ghost of a smile present in his face. Suddenly, Levi was already standing in front of me, hugging me like his life depends on it. His arms were wrapped around my waist while chanting my name over and over again.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Levi spoke softly, his voice breaking. He hugged me tighter, if that was possible. “But here you are, in my arms, after I lost hope seeing you again.”

 

The moment I felt the warmth of Levi’s body against mine, all my worries from before vanished. I don’t care about the goddamn surgery anymore. I don’t care if I only have a week or even a day to live. I don’t care about anything anymore.

 

_Everything would be fine as long as he’s here, right beside me._

 

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly as I could. It felt wonderful, as if we are a pair of key and lock that fits each other perfectly.

 

_Just like before._

 

“I’m finally home.” I murmured on top of Levi’s head.

 

* * *

 

“Is tea fine?” Levi asked from the kitchen.

 

“Yes.” I replied as I survey around his living room. The place is actually wonderful. The inside has these cream colored walls that will make you instantly feel at home. The furniture matched perfectly to the atmosphere of the place, like the russet colored sofa in the living room and the tan colored tabletops.

 

I sat down on the sofa. The cushion felt so soft that my tensed muscles loosened immediately when I reclined back on the cushions, making me sigh as the wave of exhaustion engulfed me. I was tired from all the happenings today, I spent a three-hour drive inside the cramped space of Dr. Hange’s car, I ran like I’ve never before, and then I met him. _Levi._

 

I could still feel his hot breath on my neck as he chanted my name over and over again. I could still feel the heat of Levi’s touch when he hugged me. I could still feel my blood pumping from the joy of meeting the person I love once again.

 

Today is probably the best day of my life.

 

The delight of meeting Levi overwhelmed the joy of seeing the ocean for the first time. _But still, this is all that I’ve dreamt of._

 

“Eren?” Levi spoke, catching my attention. He placed the teacups carefully on the table in front of me. I stared at his hands and how elegant he’s moving. _Just like before_. It’s one of the thousand reasons why I fell for him.

 

Levi sat down beside me. I could feel the warmth of his body despite the distance between us. I could hear his breathing and feel his every move. I’m overly aware of his presence at the moment.

 

I turned my gaze towards him. He’s not looking at me right now so I took the chance of engraving every detail of his face and frame in my mind. His straight nose, high cheekbones, and chiseled jaw line looked perfectly sculpted that I tried my best stopping myself from reaching out and tracing each part of it. His lips were thin and slightly pink, looking as soft as they were before. _I wanted to kiss him._ His eyes, his steel grey eyes, they still look as intimidating as before but right now, gone was the coldness, it’s replaced by warmth and contentment.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Levi asked, his voice laced with confusion. He was staring right at me, as if he could see every part of me, even my soul.

 

Right now, I think everything just registered in my head. Right now that he’s sitting beside me, it felt like everything is not really a dream.

 

_That this is reality._

 

I could feel the tears starting to pool in my eyes, a smile slowly covering my face, tenderness slowly inhabiting every crook and space inside me, and realization snapping inside my head.

 

“Nothing.” I shook my head, feeling my tears slowly escape my eyes. I move closer to Levi, removing every space between us. “I finally have everything I ever wanted.”

 

Then I move closer, until I could place my lips against his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Chapter 3  
> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think *wink wink*


	4. Chapter 4 - Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 4! Hope you'll like it :)  
> A major thanks to abrightrightnow for being my beta once more for this chapter! :D

Chapter 4 – Eren

 

Wednesday

 

I stretched my arms out as I took a lingering look at the ocean. I’ve been lounging at the porch since afternoon, watching as the ocean change its color, from blue to orange to indigo.

 

Seeing that the temperature has already dropped, I went back inside the house, not wanting to catch a cold. The moment I step foot inside the house, I was immediately greeted by the scrumptious smell of Levi’s cooking. I cannot explain what kind of smell it was but it surely made my mouth water.

 

“Hey,” I greeted as I enter the kitchen. Levi’s kitchen, knowing him, looked pristine. Similar to the whole house, the kitchen has cream walls while the cabinets and counters are russet colored. I walked towards the counter where Levi was mixing something in a bowl. “What are you cooking?”

 

I wrapped my arms around him, pressing his back against my chest. Levi instinctively leaned back towards me as he continued folding some yellowish thing in a bowl. “Mash potato.”

 

“Is mash potato supposed to be yellow?” I asked, placing my chin on top of his head.

 

“What color do you want it to be?” I could imagine Levi rolling his eyes. “Blue?”

 

“Was just asking.” I muttered. “Tiny old man.”

 

“I heard that.”

 

“I intended to.” I hugged him tighter.

 

“Oi.” Levi nudged my arms away from him. “As much as I’d love to stay this way, I have to cook.”

 

I took a step back from him, raised my hands up as if surrendering, and went towards the opposite side of the kitchen. I leaned back against the counter and continued staring at Levi as he fluidly went through the kitchen. I stood silently, not wanting to get kicked out of the kitchen.

 

Today is Wednesday, just a day after I arrived here, and it felt like all those hundreds of years between our two lifetimes didn’t happen. Yesterday, we spent our day lounging around the porch, watching the ocean as Levi told me his story, about how he went through with our nightmarish past.

 

He told me everything about him creating a company because he wanted to drown in his work so he could escape from his nightmares up to what happened just a few days ago, when he resigned from his position to retire in this house.

 

I remembered, as Levi recalled his past, I kept staring at his profile. I can’t help but be drawn to the way his mouth moves as he speaks and the way his expression changes when his gaze shifts towards me. He looks like he wanted to cry and smile all at the same time.

 

Just like me.

 

I would always find myself following his every movement, my gaze lingering on his frame. It is probably because I’m scared; I’m scared that when I lost sight of him, he might just disappear.

 

Leaving me all alone once again.

 

A small chuckle brought me back to reality. I turned my gaze up and saw Levi staring at me with amusement gleaming in his eyes.

 

“What?”

 

“I just remembered how you used to sit on my bed and stare at me all night long as I do my work.” Levi shook his head as he reminisced about our past life, as small smile present in his face. “It’s annoying.” He rolled his eyes; trying to sound annoyed but the small curve on his lips gave it away.

 

“Hey! Did I ever complain to you whenever you stare at me while I sleep?” I stuck my tongue out at him and folded my arms across my chest. “I know I’m handsome but please tone down your ogling.”

 

“Like you tone down your voice when we do it.”

 

“You told me to shout your name!”

 

“I told you to moan,” Levi rolled his eyes. “Not wake the whole goddamn squad with your shouting.”

 

“But you like it when I get vocal.” I wagged my eyebrows at him and bit my lip, trying to act seductive.

 

Levi threw a rug at me, which almost hit me in the face, and spoke, “Go set the fucking table and keep your ass out of my sight.”

 

“Why?” I turned my back to his and shook my butt. “When you love it so much.” Before Levi could utter another word, I ran out of the kitchen, my laughter resounding inside the house.

 

I can’t keep a smile off of my face whenever we have our usual banter. It felt like we were back to our past. We were back to those peaceful times when we sneak around at night trying to meet each other.

 

Right now, it felt like all those years I’ve spent without him suddenly became insignificant. Right now, all that matters is living the moment and creating new memories with Levi. Just like this, everything feels perfect. I wouldn’t forsake this for anything.

 

_But you haven’t told him about you._

 

That’s right; I haven’t told Levi about my condition. I haven’t told him that one vital thing about me, that I probably won’t live long. How could I tell him? 

 

The fact that Levi hasn’t opened it up means that Dr. Hange hasn’t told him about me. I don’t know if I should be pleased or not but still, deep inside, I’m sighing in relief.

 

I know, telling him about my condition is the right thing to do. I should tell him before I leave, but I’m scared. I’m scared that if I tell him, I would suddenly wake up from this dream. And I don’t want to.

 

If this was a dream, I would do everything I can not to wake up.

 

But not telling Levi about it is probably just me trying to fool myself to a lie that I know could never be the truth. No matter how much I hold off from telling him, it won’t change the fact that this week is our only chance.

 

After the short fairy tale comes the epic, where the hero foolishly goes into a battle and futilely dies.

 

But I’m no hero, because until now, now that I finally met Levi, I’m still scared to take the step, to take the surgery; my battle where I only have a small percentage of surviving.

 

“That smells good.” I remarked as Levi brought our dinner to the dining room.

 

“It should be, I cooked it.” Levi placed the plates he’s holding on the table.

 

I pulled my chair out and sat while Levi followed suit. “Where did that confidence came from? Last time I check, you made a pot explode with your cooking skills.”

 

“Stop exaggerating.” Levi rolled his eyes and took a bite from his dinner. “It didn’t explode, I just forgot that I’m cooking that’s why it burned.”

 

A laugh left my mouth as I remember what happened before in our previous life. One night, after everyone went to sleep, I told Levi that I wanted to eat. I kept bugging him until he sighed and told me that he’ll prepare some food for me. Minutes later, I checked what he was doing on the kitchen and found him staring at a charcoal looking pot. It seemed like he wanted to cook something but ended up burning the pan to dust. I wasn’t able to hold my laughter in that time.

 

“Yeah right.” I snickered and proceeded to stare at the food in front of me. It looked like it was some burned meat with mash potato on the side. It doesn’t look poisonous since it emits a wonderful smell.

 

Levi must have noticed that I wasn’t eating. “Is there something wrong?”

 

“Huh?” I snapped my gaze to him and shook my head. “Nothing, it’s just, it’s my first time seeing this.”

 

Levi stared wide-eyed at me and spoke, “Really? You haven’t had steak in your life?”

 

“No, I mean,” I paused, trying to come up with a better answer but failing miserably. “Yes. They only serve healthy foods, meaning vegetables and all.”

 

“I’d hate to only eat vegetables.”

 

“That’s why you don’t get tall.” I retorted as I cut through the meat, slicing easily through it because of how tender it was.

 

“Just shut up brat, and eat.”

 

“Ah! That term of endearment!”

 

After dinner, I offered to wash the dishes but Levi declined, saying that I might not clean it up to his standards. He’s still the clean freak that he is.

 

I flopped down on the sofa at the living room after I finished helping Levi put the plates on the sink. I leaned my head against the headrest and turned my gaze up to the ceiling. All the thoughts I have before suddenly flashed before me.

 

_When is the right time? When should I tell him? What would be his reaction?_ All these thoughts are running inside my head. I trust Levi and I know that he’s not the type of person who’ll leave someone just because things got hard.

 

But what I’m scared of is seeing his reaction.

 

I’m done hurting Levi; I’ve done enough in our past life, with killing him and giving him the burden of protecting me. Right now, all I wanted is to be with him and give him the happiness he so much deserves.

 

“Are you sleeping?” Levi nudged me to the side and sat beside me. “Isn’t it early?”

 

“I’m not, but you should. Elderly people should sleep early.”

 

“While your retorts are becoming richer, your sense of humor is getting poorer.”

 

“Thanks, but I think I’m funny.” I turned my gaze towards him. “You just hate it because you hate knowing that you’re old.”

 

“I’m fine with being old.” Levi shrugged. “With age comes greater technique.”

 

“For real Levi?” I sat up and let out a booming laugh. “Where did you hear that?”

 

“Hange.”

 

I just shook my head, laughter still bubbling up from inside me, and picked the remote control of the television from the table in front of us. “Let’s just watch something before you say another embarrassing word.”

 

“You’re like that because you know it’s true.”

 

I rolled my eyes at him. I turned the TV on and gave Levi the remote. “You choose.”

 

I placed my arm around his shoulders and instinctively, Levi snuggled to my side. I could feel his body so close to mine, his warmth engulfing me with comfort I’ve yearned for a very long time. A small smile slowly formed on my lips as elation filled my chest. He randomly selected through the remote which ended us to a scream from a suspense show. Both of us didn’t even flinch as the scream reverberated inside the room; we’re both too absorbed with each other to actually pay attention to our surroundings.

 

I tucked Levi closer to me and he laid his head on my shoulder in return. “This feels just like the dream I had.”

 

“Dream?” Levi asked, his voice low yet I could hear the curiosity lacing his tone.

 

“Yup.” I replied, remembering what happened on my dream. “We are cuddling here on this sofa while watching some random show after we took a stroll on the shore.” I placed a kissed on top of Levi’s head after I finished recounting my dream. “Right now, it’s not just a dream anymore, but it’s actually happening.”

 

“Shitty brat.” I heard Levi muttered before he cuddled even closer to me. He propped both his legs above my thigh, he’s almost sitting on my lap.

 

“Hey what did I do?”

 

“You’re annoying.” Levi replied, his voice muffled by my shirt.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re being shy.” I teased, nudging him a little.

 

“Shut up and watch the damn show.”

 

I chuckled at how Levi’s acting. I rested my head above his and turned my gaze towards the television without actually watching it.

 

Right now, all I could think was that I feel like I’m drowning in bliss.

 

And I don’t want to wake up from it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Chapter 4  
> For those who wasn't able to get why Levi was acting shy at the last part of the chapter... it's because... he had the same dream as eren (chapter 2) *squeals*   
> Thank you for reading! *bows* yay! :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 5! Hope you'll like it :)  
> It's been so long since I've updated TToTT univ's been making me busy huhuhu  
> Kudos to abrightrightnow for being my beta again! this chapter wouldn't happen without her *hugs*

Chapter 5 – Eren

 

Thursday

 

The blinding sunlight, loud chirping of the birds and resounding waves woke me up from my slumber. I stretched my arms towards Levi’s side of the bed wanting to press him closer to me, only to find out that he’s not there. The blanket fell down to my waist as I immediately sat up, revealing my naked chest. The space where Levi slept is empty.

 

 “Where is he?” I muttered under my breath as I rubbed the sleep off of my eyes. I pressed my foot on the ground and tried to stand up, my legs feeling wobbly from last night.

 

I picked my clothes up from the floor and wore them unceremoniously. My heart won’t stop beating so fast after I found myself sleeping alone. I’ve got used to waking up from the past few days beside Levi and now that he’s not beside me, I can’t help but feel quite anxious.

 

After I’m fully dressed, with some sweats and a plain shirt, I went out of the bed room and trudged towards the porch. Since I came here, I noticed that Levi usually hangs at the porch and just lounges at the sofa. I thought that it’s probably his favorite place.

 

I was not wrong. I found Levi on the porch, leaning against the railing with his back turned to me. A smile immediately appeared on my face as I stealthily walk towards him. I wrapped my arms around his waist when I got near him and pulled him towards me, pressing my chest against his back.

 

“Good morning.” I mumbled against his ear, loving the feel of his body against mine early in the morning. I placed my chin on top of his head and saw that he’s holding something, a cigarette. “You smoke?”

 

Levi hummed in reply before he puffed out the cigarette. “Sometimes, when I’m feeling stressed or if I suddenly had the urge to.” He removed my arms around him and went to throw the cigarette on the bin at the corner.

 

“You’re stressed?” I asked, my tone laced with confusion. “You don’t seem so.”

 

“I’m not.” Levi stretched his arms up for a second and turned towards me. “I just felt like it.”

 

I hummed in reply but the look on Levi’s face made me doubt that everything is fine. His face looked strained and the way he averted his eyes from mine made me feel uneasy.

 

But if he doesn’t want to tell me about it, I won’t push him to.

 

“Ok.” I answered, trying my best to sound casual. “I’ll prepare some breakfast, hopefully I won’t ruin your kitchen.”

 

Levi nodded silently, his eyes looking away from mine. That’s probably my cue to leave. I turned my back to him and went to walk inside.

 

Despite having my full trust to Levi, I can’t help but be disappointed that he wouldn’t even talk to me about his worries. I know we only met a few days ago in this lifetime, but those few days proved that nothing changed between us in spite of the hundreds of years that passed since our previous life.

 

I’m happy that regardless of anything, we can still act the same way we do before, as if it’s natural for both of us.

 

“Eren,” Levi sighed, making me stop on my tracks. “Hange called earlier.”

 

Those words struck me. I immediately turned to face him and stilled when I saw his expression. I knew in that moment that Dr. Hange has told him.

 

His eyes were filled with pain as he stared at me, pleading me to speak, to assure him that everything’s alright. Slowly, I took a step towards him. My mind’s a mess, I cannot think and I cannot even utter a single word.

 

What should I do?

 

I should tell him right now. But where do I start? Should I tell him everything? Even about the surgery I don’t want to undergo to?

 

A loud sigh broke my train of thought. I snapped my head up and saw Levi charging towards me. “Don’t look so constipated, brat. I’m not mad or anything so calm down and let’s just fucking sit first.”

 

“Eh?” Levi pulled me towards the sofa on the porch and made me sit. He sat beside me and spoke, “I know that it must be hard for you to fucking speak right now. Just breathe first and collect your damn thoughts. We have all day.”

 

I stared at Levi as he said those words. The painful look I saw before was gone; he’s acting normal once again.

 

But I know for a fact that he isn’t.

 

I could feel his hand holding mine tremble. He’s trying to collect himself up and look calm for me. He knew that if he didn’t, we wouldn’t go anywhere. We would just end up fighting and misunderstanding each other.

 

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I counted my breath until I could feel myself calm down. Slowly, I began to think clearly once again and my breathing back to normal. I opened my eyes and saw Levi staring straight at me, his eyes filled with warmth.

 

“You know that I love you, right?” Levi spoke, his voice low yet his eyes were speaking thousands of words. Right there and then, I knew there would be nothing wrong.

 

I nodded at him and took a deep breath before I started explaining everything to him. From when I first found out about my condition to when I was hospitalized and started dreaming about our past life up to what Dr. Hange told me last week.

 

All along, Levi remained silent. He nods every now and then yet he does not speak. He let me finish my story without any interruption. He just sat there, staring at the ocean, while I pour my heart out to him. I could see his expression change from time to time; he would sometimes smile, wince, or frown.

 

After I finished recounting my life, we sat silently as we drown in our thoughts and in the sound of the waves. I felt Levi grasp my hand, holding it tightly in his. I turned my gaze towards him and saw his mouth set in to a thin line.

 

“I feel worthless.” He sighed after a while and dropped his gaze to our entwined hands. “I should’ve been with you through those years, yet I fucking let myself wallow in self-pity because I thought I was getting insane with all those dreams.” He held my hand tighter. “You’re so strong.”

 

_I’m not._

 

_Levi, I’m not strong. I was lifeless all those years. I tuned out everything because I’m weak and I cannot face what was in front of me. You are the one who’s strong._

 

I closed my eyes briefly, letting myself get lost to the moment. I felt Levi place his hand on my cheek and instinctively, I leaned in to the warmth of his palm. When I opened my eyes, I was drowned by the steel grey that is Levi’s eyes. “Please, don’t change the way you behave around me. I wanted to continue creating these beautiful memories with you, just like this.”

 

“I won’t.” Levi leaned towards me, placing a kiss on my forehead, his lips soft and warm against my skin.

 

Now that everything’s laid out and clear, I feel like the weight from my chest vanished. I don’t have to worry about anything anymore. I can just concentrate on being with Levi and going through this week.

 

It feels like everything is just starting right now.

 

“Eren,” Levi started. He leaned his head on my shoulder and mine above his; reveling at how soft his hair is against my cheek. He raised our entwined hands and stared at it. “About the surgery, are you really not going to change your mind?”

 

I let out a small sigh. Those thoughts have been bugging me lately and I still don’t know the answer. “Honestly, at first I’m dead set on not having a surgery but now, I’m not so sure. I wanted to live longer so that I could be with you, heck I wanted to grow old with you. But I’m also scared, what if the surgery failed, forget growing old with you, I won’t even be with you as you grow taller.”

 

“Stop with the jokes about my height. We’re having a moment here.” I could feel Levi rolling his eyes as he said those.

 

I let out a small chuckle and continued, “For now, I just want to enjoy the rest of the week. I just want to live and be with you before I go back to the hospital on Sunday.” I raised our hands together and kissed Levi’s knuckles.

 

I’ve been thinking about it lately. I was so sure before that if I met Levi, I won’t think twice about having a surgery. I would surely have one and grow old with him. But right now, I’m scared. I finally found the happiness that I never had, and I don’t want it to vanish in a second.

 

Levi might be worth having the surgery for, but what will happen to Levi once I’m gone? I don’t want him to experience what I’ve experienced in our past life. I’ve thrown myself to my own ruination after his death. I could still feel my heart and soul slowly breaking as days without him pass.

 

As the people rejoice in a titan-free world, I’m painfully falling to my own demise.

 

“Fuck this.” Levi immediately stood up, making me stare at him with a dumbfounded expression. “Let’s stop with this depressing shit and start creating memories for your damn scrapbook.”

 

“Scrapbook?” I let out a small chuckle when he said those words.

 

“Yes, you should make one.” Levi crossed his arms against his chest and continued, “You know, for sentimental shits.”

 

“That’s a great idea!” I laughed, the sound reverberating throughout the peaceful morning. “We should create a scrapbook with some glitters and shells we found on the shore.”

 

“And while we’re at it, we should make some sisterhood blood compact.” Levi rolled his eyes, a small smile decorating his face.

 

“I never knew that you’re girly, Corporal.”

 

“Shut up brat.”

 

I smiled widely at him and turned my gaze at the ocean. I could feel my jaw ache at how much I’m smiling. _This person knew me well._

 

“Brat.”

 

“Mhh?” I turned my gaze to Levi only to be surprised by his lips. His mouth was so soft against mine. At first, I couldn’t move due to shock but when I felt Levi laced his fingers on my hair, pulling me closer to him, I snapped back to reality and began returning his kiss with much fervor.

 

I closed my eyes and felt the tingles as he devours my lips. Levi pushed me towards the sofa, making me fall on my back and continued assaulting my lips with his own. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him flush against my body.

 

With Levi on top of me, kissing me with all his might, I could feel all my worries wash away. Right now, he’s all that matters. All my senses were shouting, chanting his name. Levi. _Levi._ It’s as if I couldn’t get enough of him no matter how close we are.

 

Levi pulled my hair, making me gasp at the stinging sensation. He wasted no time pushing his tongue inside my mouth. I shuddered in pleasure as he thrust his tongue inside my mouth, fighting for dominance against mine.  I could feel my senses go haywire as his taste exploded on my mouth.

 

I could feel him everywhere.

 

I let out a disappointed sigh when Levi pulled away from me. But before he does so, he whispered on my ear. “You’re feeling it right? It means you’re alive.”

 

I could feel my eyes widen when he said those words. It felt like he knew everything that I wanted to hear. My lips slowly forming a smile as I stare at him, the man I love.

 

_This man._ He never fails to surprise me. Every day, I thank god for giving Levi to me, for being able to meet him. He’s the man who changed me, the man who loved me despite the monster that I was. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love Levi, but here I am, falling for him over and over again.

 

_Loving him more as days pass._

 

He pushed himself up, and straddled me. “Damn brat, getting excited early in the morning.”

 

“You’re the one who suddenly grabbed and kissed me.” I defended. “And looks like I’m not the only one excited.” I raised my hips up, grinding against his crotch. I laughed when Levi glared at me. “Hades seemed to be excited as well.”

 

“Why the fuck are you naming my dick ‘Hades’?”

 

“You don’t want to? Then let’s just name him Plankton.” I let out a booming laugh after I said those words. He’s definitely not a Plankton.

 

“You know it’s not small.” Levi rolled his eyes at my reply. He pushed himself up against me and stood beside the couch. “Let’s go eat some breakfast or lunch or whatever shit. I’m fucking starving.”

 

“You still have the dumpster as your vocabulary I see.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Chapter 5  
> Thank you for the kudos!!   
> please click that little heart below and let me know what you think :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their last day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 6!! Sorry for the long delay TT.TT hope you'll like this chapter!  
> Kudos to abrightrightnow for the beta!! <3  
> Enjoy reading!!

Chapter 6 – Eren

 

Friday

 

As I was pulling the covers of the bed, planning to the call it a night, I could feel my joints and my arms aching from all the work we did earlier. The soft blanket felt like it weighs tons as I pull it away for me to dive under it.

 

 “Thank god for inventing soft beds.” I moaned the moment my back touched the surface of the bed. I could feel my tight muscles loosened at touch and my bones sighing in pleasure. “I never knew kayaking was so hard.”

 

Earlier today, I saw that Levi has a kayak in his storage room. It looks unused and since we don’t have anything planned for today, I bugged him to kayak with me. He was very reluctant at first, but after much pleading and puppy faces, he surrendered.

 

Levi was on the other side of the room, pulling his shirt to his head and letting it fall to hug his toned body. “It wouldn’t be if you knew how to paddle.” Levi rolled his eyes and threw the other side of the blanket towards my face, making me drown with the softness of the cloth. I immediately removed the blanket that covered my face, childishly stuck my tongue out to him and replied, “Look who’s talking, as if you also knew how to paddle.”

 

“I know I’m not good at kayaking, that’s why I never use it.” Levi lied down beside me and pulled the cover towards him. “You’re the one who won’t stop bugging me unless we do.”

 

I just shrugged and scooted over to Levi’s side. “Well I had fun even though we just went around circles.” Chuckling, I wrapped my arms around Levi and pulled him closer to me. “I mean, when we’re already far from the shore, I could only see the blue of the ocean. It felt like we were the only person in the world. At that moment, I thought that I would definitely love a world where it’s only the two of us.”

 

Levi pulled my head towards him and placed a kiss on top of it, a kiss that felt like he was saying ‘me too’. I smiled at the simple gesture. We don’t need words to understand each other, we’re still quite the same as we were in the past, and a kiss or a mere flinch between us could mean a thousand words.

 

I let myself sink to the feel of Levi’s arms around me and mine around his body. Every crook and curve of his frame fits perfectly to me, as if we were created to be together. Deciding to cut the silence, I squeezed Levi closer to me before I climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. “So,” I wagged my eyebrows at him suggestively, a grin present on my lips. “Shouldn’t we do something productive before we go to sleep?”

 

Levi pushed me off of his waist, making me fall towards my side of the bed. He propped himself up using his elbow and stared at me, a smug look present in his face. “I thought you’re dead tired and that your bones are aching? Shouldn’t you just sleep?”

 

“Well,” I dragged out the syllable as I slowly scoot over towards him. “This and that are separate things. I’m never too tired for you.” I winked at him at the last bit.

 

“Horny brat.” Levi rolled his eyes as I place my arms around his neck.

 

I smirked after he spoke and drew him closer to me, pulling in for a kiss. “You love it.” I said before sealing his lips with mine.

 

A sigh immediately left my mouth when I felt him respond to my kiss, his lips soft and warm against mine.  It was different from his fervent kisses before, right now, he’s taking his time relishing the moment. As if we were savoring each other’s lips and the feeling it evokes. It feels like I could memorize every part and curve of his lip and every taste and feel of his mouth as I push my tongue inside.

 

I was gone past the life of not having this feeling. It felt like I wouldn’t be able to live without his body close to mine, making me dizzy with intoxication. I don’t know how I could go back to the life without him making me crazy with want and need.

 

I moaned in delight when Levi pulled harshly on my hair, the sting turning into pleasure. As our tongues danced together to an unknown tune and our hands wandered all over each other’s body, I wasn’t able to realize that we’re not wearing our clothes anymore.

 

I pulled away from Levi’s lips to catch my breath, both of us panting hard from all the kissing. “You move fast.” I puffed, a small chuckle leaving my mouth.

 

Levi pulled me in for a kiss once again and spoke with his lips pressed against mine, “It’s your entire fault.” He pushed me to my back and climbed on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him flush against my body, feeling his every smooth skin. I chuckled at how he was acting and responded as eagerly to his kiss. A shiver went through my entire body when I felt his hard member poking my inner thigh, all I could think about was how I wanted him inside me soon and fast.

 

But that could wait. For now, I wanted to relish this moment.

 

That night, all the tiredness I felt from kayaking turned into pleasure and the entire ache in my body turned into a good one. As Levi pushed me into bliss, everything vanished from my head. All I could feel was him; thrusting inside me, whispering all his love to my ears, tracing patterns all over my body, and chanting my name over and over again as he sunk to his own bliss.

 

I drowned myself to the pleasure of making love to the person who has my heart.

 

* * *

 

Saturday

 

“Good morning.” I spoke, my voice hoarse from sleep. I peak through my heavy eyes and saw Levi propped on his elbow as he stared at me. “Like what you see?”

 

“I would if you brush your mouth, your breathe stinks.”

 

I rubbed the sleep off of my eyes and yawned, stretching my arms out as I do so. I could feel my bones pop from our activity last night, and though my body aches, I feel as refreshed as before.

 

Feeling quite courageous, I breathed to his face. I let out a booming laugh when Levi cringed away from me, his face contorting into disgust. “Fuck brat. That’s some poisonous gas you have.”

 

Still laughing, I spoke, “You should’ve seen your face!”

 

“Just go brush your fucking teeth.” Levi rolled his eyes and pushed himself up from the bed. “I’ll make us some breakfast,” Levi paused, taking a glimpse at the clock above the doorframe. It’s quarter to 11. “Or lunch. Whatever.” Levi started pulling his clothes on, he moved fast yet elegantly.

 

“Yes, yes!” I saluted at him, placing my fist to my heart, our salute as soldiers before. This earned me another eye roll from him before he left the room, a smile covering my whole face as I watch his retreating back.

 

I stretched my arms out again, twisting around the covers, and propped myself up from the bed. I sat at the corner and began searching for my clothes. As I was reaching for my sweats, which was almost under the bed, I heard a loud ring from the other side of the room.

 

It was Levi’s cell phone.

 

Pulling my sweats up to my waist, I began trudging to the other side of the room where the bedside table is. Levi’s phone was placed beside the lamp.

 

Dr. Hange’s name was flashing on the screen.

 

I’m not actually planning on taking the call. I’m supposed to be giving it to Levi, but when I saw Dr. Hange’s name on the screen, blinking back and forth at me, a sudden thought appeared on my mind, a thought that I had been pulling off.

 

It was about the surgery.

 

After much thinking and time spent here, I’ve finally made up my mind. I know things are not a hundred percent sure in this world, but me wanting to be with Levi is absolute. There’s nothing more that I want than making Levi happy and being with him.

 

So, I took the phone to my hand and slid the call button, answering Dr. Hange’s call. _“Levi?"_

 

“Good morning Dr. Hange.” I spoke, my voice firm with resolve. “This is Eren. I have something I need to tell you.”

 

* * *

 

It seems like no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to do things right. No matter how much effort I put in, things wouldn’t just go my way.

 

Like sand art. I couldn’t seem to create a single fucking castle that even a shitty kid could do.

 

Sorry for the language. The old man I’m living with has infected me with his colorful vocabulary.

 

“Fuck!” I swatted the small bump of sand that seemed to be the only thing I could make, and flopped on the ground exasperatedly. “I’m done.”

 

I’ve been trying to create a simple castle for almost half an hour now and all I could make was a bunch of bumps on the sand. I think creativity and I are not well suited.

 

“Are you a fucking kid?” Levi yelled from the porch. He was leaning against the railing, and even if I’m few meters away from him, I knew that he is probably amused at what I’m doing.

 

“Even a kid can do a freaking castle!” I waved my hands at him exasperatedly and stood up, dusting my pants off after I do so. “All I could do was these!” I pointed at the small bumps I formed on the sand.

 

“That looks like shit. A dog shit.”

 

“Yeah thanks.” I rolled my eyes at him and proceeded to walk towards the beach house. “I’m really creative, aren’t I?”

 

Levi must’ve have been holding his laughter in. “Yeah, you are.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

After my failure in sand art, Levi and I ate our brunch. We ate while laughing and bickering about everything. It was quite enjoyable since I’ve never had someone to eat with when I was in the hospital. Nurse Petra would usually bring my food and I’ll eat as she watched beside my bed. It was quite more of awkward than comforting.

 

Honestly, the thought about the hospital has left my mind. I was having too much fun being with Levi that all my worries vanished. As I was reaching for the cup of water, I realized that today was Saturday, my last day here. My heart began beating so fast, afraid of going back to the place where I spent almost all my life. I’m afraid of what will happen after I go back. _I’m scared._ My hand started to shake and I began to drown out everything. I don’t know how I snapped back from reality, away from my thoughts, but after having an internal panic attack, I was back laughing and tossing pieces of food towards Levi.

 

After eating, we spent the afternoon lounging at the living room while watching Supernatural. At first, we sat on the both ends of the sofa since the weather was quite warm, but when things started to get scary on the show, I slowly scooted over to his side and hid my face on his back, much to Levi’s annoyance. He even reclined back on the cushion, squeezing my face in between.

 

“Don’t fucking watch if you’re scared.”

 

“But it’s interesting!” I defended, now sporting a pillow in front of my face to cover my eyes.

 

In reply, Levi rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. We continued watching the show with me hugging him and hiding my face on the crook of his neck every now and then. We ignored the warm temperature and cuddled together, even though sweat dotted our skin.

 

Around 4 pm, the sun is not as bright anymore. Levi asked if I wanted to walk Colossal with him and of course, I agreed. Although Levi called it a walk, it wasn’t technically Levi putting Colossal on a leash and following him around. It was more like letting Colossal play around the shore as we stroll behind him. Levi said that Colossal is an intelligent dog and he would definitely stop if we’re not following him anymore.

 

“Well, college is not really that eventful.” Levi shrugged after I asked him about his college life. “I mean, my fucking friends are two total nerds, Hange and Erwin, so their usual definition of fun is going to library, shitty book fairs and conventions and stuff.”

 

I hummed in reply. It was quite adorable knowing that Levi, who was the humanity’s strongest soldier, was actually a good boy when he was in college. Nurse Petra usually talks about parties and all when I asked her about her college life so I thought I would be the same for Levi.

 

“But then, Hange loves playing pranks.” Levi rolled his eyes, probably remembering something ridiculous that Dr. Hange did. “She actually put a fucking laxative to her professor’s coffee because she hated that professor with all her guts. And it was right before graduation, so the professor literally shit his pants during the ceremony.”

 

“Really?!” I huge laugh left my mouth after Levi finished his story. I couldn’t believe that she actually did something like that. “Fuck that’s awesome.”

 

Levi and I continued to follow Colossal as he recounted every prank him, Erwin, and Dr. Hange did. I can’t stop laughing at the silliness of the group. It seemed like despite being a tight ass, Erwin is actually a good prankster as well.

 

“Eren?” Levi asked when I suddenly stopped on my tracks.

 

While we were walking, I suddenly felt a sharp throb on my chest. It was so sudden that I immediately froze. But as soon as it came, it was gone. Things like this usually happen so I decided to ignore it and continue walking. “Sorry sorry! I’ll catch up.”

 

After the sun has set, we decided to go back to the beach house and start preparing for dinner. Our walk back wasn’t that eventful. Silence enveloped us as we walk along the shore with the sun setting in front of us. A sudden dread shrouded the once cheerful aura around us. It is probably because that fact has already sunk into us.

 

That I’m going back to the hospital tomorrow.

 

That our week has finally come to an end.

 

All day, the topic about me returning to the hospital didn’t come up. I just wanted to savor this last day and forget all those kinds of things, but I guess it was inevitable. Sooner or later, I have to accept the fact that I’m going back.

 

And that I’ll be having my battle.

 

We continued to walk in silence as we basked under the moonlight. From my peripheral vision, I could see Levi’s features become sharper as the moonlight struck him, making him much more handsome and delicate. I don’t know how I got so lucky having such a perfect lover as him, and I could never be thankful enough.

 

“I’ll shower first.” Levi broke the silence after we arrived at the beach house. I nodded in reply. The words seemed to be stuck at my throat and I can’t speak.

 

_Levi, I don’t want to leave yet._

 

I turned around and walked towards the porch. The night view of the ocean is as breathtaking as it was in the morning. Despite not having the beautiful glitters on the water made by the sunlight, the ocean had reflected the light coming from the stars, making it look like out of this world.

 

Since we’re away from the city, the stars are clear; like Levi’s eyes.

 

The same gray and the same light.

 

What would happen after this? What would happen after I wake up tomorrow? What would happen after I return to the hospital?

 

Honestly? I have no idea.

 

For now, I’m just following my insights. And my insights told me to just enjoy this last night and worry tomorrow.

 

_I still have to tell Levi about it._

 

About my decision regarding the surgery.

 

 “Eren.” Levi spoke from behind me. I turned to face him and saw that he had just finished showering. What was weird is that he’s panting, as if he ran in a marathon. “I need to tell you something.”

 

“Wow you took one hell of a fast shower.”

 

“Fuck, I was thinking about something that’s why.” He wiped the beads of sweat and water around his forehead and took a step towards me. “I know that,” Levi paused, seemingly out of words. “Fuck.”

 

A soft chuckle left my mouth. It was quite adorable when Levi is at loss for words. “Wha–“ Before I could finish a single word, I felt a small throb on my chest. Then it was followed by something painful that made me double over.

 

“Eren!”

 

I could feel something heavy around my chest and something squeezing it. I began to pant and wheeze as I tried to grasp on something, anything. But I was flat on the floor with nothing to hold on.  _Where’s Levi?_

 

I tried searching for Levi’s hand despite the tears making my eyes blurry. I was able to wheeze out Levi’s name when I felt his hand touch mine, grasping it tightly against his. I could feel a single tear fell to my cheek the moment I felt the warmth of his hand.

 

Levi’s voice sounded faint from all the drumming from my chest. He voice seemed to be laced with anxiousness and it sounded as if he’s talking to someone. _Is he calling Dr. Hange? I still haven’t told him about what I told to Dr. Hange earlier._

 

I could feel myself get dizzy as seconds tick by, my sight becoming more blurry.

 

Before I knew it, everything turned black.

 

But not before I heard Levi calling my name over and over again.

 

_Sadly, I wasn’t able to stay with you until the end._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of chapter 6  
> Thank you for reading!! :))  
> leave a comment and let me know what you think ;)


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